We were standing in an unfamiliar place. Looking around, it appeared to be a harbour of sorts. But not a harbour where big, fancy cruise liners dock…or any beautiful yachts. This seemed like a more industrial section of a harbour. With huge red and green containers. Some containers were loaded on cargo ships. Other containers were stacked in rows of varying heights, either waiting to be loaded onto ships, or have their contents emptied. It seemed like a busy place…a lot of hustle and bustle.
Yet, for some reason, it felt like we were almost invisible. Every person, every machine, seemed to be moving around us, magically missing us, and no one seemed to take any notice of us. I remember the smell of salty-dirty-fishy water. I remember a cool, gentle breeze blowing. I remember hearing birds flying over our heads, and in the distance. I remember the sun was shining. And I remember that I knew, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that I needed to protect her. It was my job.
I knew the tiny baby I was holding in my arms, holding so tightly to my chest, was MY baby. Mine. I knew her name was Hope. And I knew she was mine. Yet she didn’t look like me. Not at all. From her skin tone to her hair…she didn’t have my nose, or my eyes, or my mouth. Did this matter to me? No. She was still my Hope, and as her mother, it was my job to keep her safe and well looked after. I love her so much, how can I not? Standing in that harbour, on that particular day, I knew all of this to be true.
I don’t remember the exact date. But I do remember that it was sometime in 2012 that I had this very dream. I remember sitting on “our” couch in the Holmes’ lounge, when I first told Jason, and our very best friend, Cindy about this dream. And I remember Jason was…intrigued, to say the least. But we’re not big on finding the hidden meaning to a dream. When it comes to dreams like this, we prefer to “put them on the shelf”, remember them, and wait and see what happens.
Since then, whenever we have spoken about the adoption, we’ve spoken about “Hope”. Does this mean we firmly believe we will be adopting a baby girl? No! Did we only tick the box next to girl, and leave the boy box empty? No! In fact, as we were filling out the forms, we both really felt like God was telling us, “tick any race, any gender. And see what I’m going to do!” So that’s what we did!
We’re so excited to meet either Hope or Noah! And for us this dream was a confirmation that we will adopt. It will happen. And the adoption will be a fulfillment of what we have hoped for, for so long…a baby to call “ours”!